If you have a colleague who you dread seeing, doesn’t respond to your requests, or with whom you generally have a negative relationship, it’s time to relieve your stress and work on the relationship. Whether you choose direct or indirect methods to repair the relationship, there are a few critical things to avoid:
- DON’T expect rapid change. Having one conversation and changing behaviors for a few days or weeks may not be enough. Change will come from consistency over a period of months to a year.
- DON’T impose your point of view. Immediately solicit the other person’s perspective and listen patiently. You need to clearly demonstrate that you care about their views.
- DON’T speak poorly of your colleague. Not only does this help avoid potentially embarrassing incidents, it also forces you to stop verbalizing negative thoughts you have about them. It’s very difficult to repair a relationship with someone that you hold in low regard.
- DON’T ignore inconsistencies. If you notice discrepancies between your colleague’s actions and words, this could be a clue that the relationship is not improving. This also holds true for you. If you are trying to repair a relationship, your words and actions must both support this goal.
If you have questions about how to improve sour work relationships, including what to avoid, and direct and indirect methods to use, please reach out to lauren@evoluteconsult.com
